What happened after?

Immediately after last night's post, I sat down and read my post again. I felt my emotions simmer down and I was rational again. I felt a little silly for getting ruining our weekends over something so small, it must really be because of ___.

I took my phone and texted you. I thanked you for being calm, patient, cajoling me with hugs and kisses (the way I liked) and told you it was just me putting up a stubborn front for the sake of being upset. I told you that I enjoyed the weekend with you and I was really happy. After sending the text to you, I felt so much better. 

I learnt alot from you yesterday, it made me seem so little.

Thank you for having a big heart, it reminded me that it was one of the many traits that I love you for. We, humans have so much pride and ego in us, I wished we have slightly lesser of that. Or I wished that I can put it down faster during my non-rational times.

You make me proud to call you my partner, close to half a decade together and I'm still learning from you every single day.

It was suppose to be a good day

Today was suppose to be a good day, at least that's what I thought.

Everything started off well, we had fun.

You told me to wake you up in 30 min but I saw how tired you were and let you sleep for 1.5 hours instead. My tummy rumbled from no brunch except a cheese bread and asked you to wake up.

We went out to the nearby mall looking for food and settled for Sushi Express. We created our own laughs, talked so much on the way and I felt immensely happy even though we were just walking looking for a barber to cut your hair. We talked about how wandering about the neighbourhood easily made us so contented and we got your hair cut. You looked dashing as always.

After a phone call, everything spiralled. I was upset, I complaint but still suggested splitting the errands so that we could get it over and done with. Went back, you tried so hard to cajole me like always and I tried hard to stay mad. We painted, or at least I did. You did a small painting and lost inspiration you said. But you sat next to me and continued watching me. I took a short break and laid in bed with you. Things quickly got back to normal. We were doing silly antics, talking about future kids' names (we said a girl and a boy would be perfect), I challenged you to do certain tricks and the room filled with laughter again.

What followed after should've been all good but it didn't. Sunday didn't end off well.

I wished for the day to start all over again, so I'd have the chance to make everything alright and not ruin an almost-perfect weekend. I guess these are all part of a relationship but funny enough, today's negativity stemmed from external factors.

For the entire way home, the only thought I had in mind was "What should I do to not allow today's incident to repeat itself?" But I couldn't generate any ideas, sigh I really hate ending the weekends like this. One thing I was thankful for was how you'd always remain yet so calm while I was burning with emotions inside. We are like ying and yang, balancing each other well. I guess over time, we both know the roles to play when each of us aren't in the best of moods. I'm really thankful for that and am very thankful for you.

"It will get better," you texted. 

Yes it will, it always gets better.

Now, I really want to redo Sunday so that we can usher the new week on a high.

He is my comfort

I'm not sure if you see what I see - comfort, genuine happiness, security, bliss & of course, love.

Sometimes when we're lying in bed, sharing about our past week and other random topics that pop into our heads, I'll turn over and look at Kai's face. I observe the facial features and little details of his face like how he has a small mole(?) on his right cheek, the short stubbles growing when he forgets to shave, that one strand of nose hair that sometimes cheekily pops out hahaha. I look at Kai and wonder, "how do two strangers cross paths and find each other and love so deeply?" Funny isn't it. 

He was once a used-to-be stranger. We live in different areas. We were never from the same class. But somehow we crossed paths. We loved, we left, we fought, we cried, we were mad, really mad at each other but I guess we were also mad about each other. I often wonder how I can love a stranger so deeply and have this huge amount of love for him. Funny isn't it.

But right now, he is my comfort. 

Maybe the love articles from Thought Catalog were right about one thing - if it's meant to be, it will be. Love can be the simplest of things, just like snuggling in bed and taking photos. Or maybe even fighting the zzz monster when Kai's had a long day to send me a goodnight text (he will always remember to send the red heart emoji teehees). Love is you. Love is the effort we constantly put in to make things work out for us when it doesn't. Love is the heated conversations we have when we have differing opinions but we still respect that it is okay to disagree on certain things. Love is the stress we face from time to time when we plan for the future ahead. Love is the scary moments we face together towards an uncertain future ahead. Love is when you hold my hand so tight to assure me "we will pull through this just like how we have for every milestone in this relationship". Love is not only the good but also the rough times. 

And at the end of every day, I'd still choose to do this love with you.