Reconnected.

So this weekend was just a time-out from everything & reconnecting with my Fammy. During the hols, I was pretty caught up with me-time & CSOP that I kinda neglected family time so this weekend I was really really glad to have spent it with them. (:

Had midnight-movie Saturday & we caught Iron Man 3 !!! The graphics and effects were really good & I really enjoyed myself. Kekeke, Iron Man's girlf's abs are so sexaye that I couldn't stop  staring at them *spazzes. Apart from that, I really am thankful that Sissy initiated it if not, I doubt we'll all actually stop what we're doing at hand and spend quality time together-gether.

Today. Met up with the Changs cause we had to pay respects to Popo cause its her death anni. It's been two years & it kinda scares me at how time flies. Up till today, I still miss Gong Gong & Popo. Funny how I always feel that they've never left but are constantly with us no matter where we are. Their presence is so strong that we still talk like as if they are around, y'know that kind of feeling.

My only regret is not spending more time with them when they were around. Too caught up with studies and everything but now that I think about it, it's sucha bad excuse. If only I had the time, like I do now to really get to know them, talk to them, cook with them or anything I can do with them.

So that's partially the reason why, I am spending as much time as I can with my maternal Grandma. Staying over at her place, doing housechores with her, cooking with & for her & even learning my fave recipes from her. And it occurs to me that, despite how simple they are, she is really really overjoyed to have her granddaughter just being there with her.

I've made the same mistake thrice but I'm gonna cherish the only chance I have left.

*****

School's been wearing me out, it's like no matter how much sleep I have, it is never enough. Not to mention the countless things I have to do. My to-do list is getting longggger.

Side note: I kinda realise we're stuck in the same situation, well almost alike. And, we both made the same choice, I think. Sometimes, we choose the things that make us happy knowing how it'll hurt and go out of hand. You're in sucha better situation than me, do what makes you happy. (:

xoxo.

Lessons.

Finally, CSOP is over & its the third day of school. Gosh, I don't know if age is catching up with me or what but I'm completely drained physically & mentally. And the number of assignments that are thrown are oh-gosh, the thought of it is just - so tiring.

Funny how its only the third day of school but I'm dying for a holiday already. Looking forward to term break already, kekeke.

The past few weeks, I've learn so much. From the people around me, from CSOP, from tiny incidents & I've seen myself grow. Courage, I've heard of it, seen it & even experienced it. I'm really thankful for the people who've been there, encouraged me, guided me & suported me. So blessed for every single one of you (': That's my epitome of Courage. There isn't a need for many but a handful would do.

 Went over to Aunt's new place & it is just gorg! Guys, meet Brownie, my handsome ball of fur <3 a="" all="" amp="" anytime="" break.="" by="" can="" checklist="" do="" during="" font="" god="" her="" i="" is="" it="" just="" much="" my="" near="" necessary="" need="" now.="" of="" over="" place="" pop="" really="" s="" school="" so="" thank="" that="" the="" to="">

So many work-related things to do, personal stuff to do, places to visit, errands to run, things to try. And the list goes on and on and on. 

 CSOP has finally ended, after months of planning & meetings, the physical demands of running the entire camp & the mental fatigue from the super late 10pm-3am debriefs. I do admit, there were times when I just wanted to just raise the white flag but my dear Excos were all very supportive, encouraging & my GLs were just so loving. Couldn't have asked for more (: I met so many people from this camp & they've all taught me lessons one way or another. The bonds forged, awww missing them already.

 Bestests, thank you so much for taking time from each of your busy schedules to arrange dinnz date (: A two hour meal but that's sufficient enough to keep me going. Love you girls, muah.

Finally, a huge rock lifted from my heart & I never realised that it actually felt this good. *Pats self on the back

XX.

My Kind Of Days.

This space is kinda dead I guess? But oh wells because its more of like a "journal" for me. So, I just sat down on my bed & thought about truckloads of stuff. So I just wanted to blog about my kind of days.

So here goes.

There are days when I just wanna catch up with people who are important to me & we'll just find a quiet place to talk, catch up, laugh about anything till the sun rises the next day.

There are days when I just wanna hop into a car/bus and just see where it takes me. Alone or with good company. I love spending a day just exploring a new place, new location & who knows what you'll discover.

There are days when I just like to sit on a vehicle but instead of roaming around to explore the city, I just love to rot inside with a book or movie or what. Its the idea of moving about yet staying in, you guys get it? Kinda like a relaxing adventure.

And of course, there are days when I'd wanna be surrounded with the presence of my besties or people whose silence I enjoy. We'll all be chilling around doing our own stuff or even nothing but it is the presence which I really cherish most.

There are days when I wanna do something crazy with no one except my Bestests. Nothing beats crossing something off your bucket list with your BFF right? Imagine years down the road, when we're all married & tied down with kids, we'll be reminiscing those good old cray cray days. 

Well, there are days when I just wanna be with the guy I love doing nothing. Get it get it? I don't want those go-town, eat at posh places dates but a day where I can have him all to myself. We'll spend the day doing nuts except having deep conversations & simple things.

And of course there are days when I just want the guy I love all to myself. Okay that kinda sounded like possessive but what I mean is just a day lying around, gazing into each other's eyes & talking about our moments.

Not forgetting days when I can spend an entire days doing what girls in general love most - Shopping. Hehs, already so excited at the sudden thought (:

There are days when I wanna just go out to amusement parks/carnivals with my friends. We can just spend a day out, laughing out hearts out & taking rides. Screaming our lungs out and thinking " why the hell did I ride this?! " but after every ride you'll go, " I wanna take it again!! " jumping up & down like a 5 year old.

Days when I just want some alone time with books. One of the places I wouldn't mind staying or even camping the day there is a bookshop. I really love reading, been a hobby of mine since young. I love how stories bring you to an adventure, like a time-machine. Sucking you in every single detail of the book, allowing you to relate & even feel/view the perspectives of the author. Books are such amazing things or what I call comfort objects.

There are days when I wanna go on a getaway. A planned or impromptu one, any of the two would be great. Just somewhere out of Sg & preferably with my Bestests!

And there are days when I wanna sit by my window & observe the people or happenings around me. Just view it as small pockets of details or even as a large picture, you'll be surprise at what you actually find. 

There are days when I wanna have a good hearty breakfast of everything I love. Its like a breakfast buffet y'know. Crapz, I'm already drooling at the thought if scrambled eggs, danish pastries, crepes, waffles etc etc

There are days when I wake up, jump out of bed and dump random stuff in the bag & head out with no plans in mind. It can be a stayover or just a swim. Its those kind of impromptu activities that comes to your mind first thing in the morning.

There are days when I wanna walk around town at night. No shopping or whatsoever just plain walking & loads of looking. Soaking every drop of nightlife atmosphere that it offers me. Its a whole new experience from walking in town during the day. The air is cooler, you'll feel more relaxed & its just different.

Days when I wanna just sit & chill at a cafe, doing anything I like or with anyone who wants to join me. The main idea of this day is to sit in a cafe & chill. It doesn't matter what I'm doing or who I'm with, I just want a cup of drink in hand & a plate of pastries. 

There are days when I just wanna walk through the alleys & see where they lead me to. Its some sort like a small mini adventure that's all. Maybe I won't do that in Sg because the back alleys are places where stuffs & rubbish are dumped and you'll prolly end up at the same starting point. 

Days when I wanna wake up at 5 to witness the sunrise to a gorgeous brand new day. On days like these, I'll constantly remind myself how blessed I am to see the birth of a brand new day & count my blessings as well.

Call it weird but there are days when I want to visit every supermarket I know. I like walking down the aisles and see what's displayed on the shelves. There are times when those small packages on display give me surprises. Its like how a small Tiffany & Co. box brings out the squeals and exclaims of girls but just replace the idea of Tiff & Co. to a cereal box.

There are days when I feel fearless & do things which I never imagine myself doing or stuff outside my personal comfort zone. It doesn't necessarily be activities, it can be minor stuff like talking to a friend whom I've not talked to in ages or cray cray stuffs. Or even simple not-so-fearless stuff like trying out a real hard recipe or painting my room. Hahah you guys get my drift?

And lastly, there are days when I just wanna take a luxurious vacation of my dream & escape from reality. Throw away all forms of burden, stress and just enjoy every minute & second of my vacation. Being human, its natural that we all need a break at some point of time & that above, is my dream vacation. (: 

XX.

New Pillars.

I actually have no idea where to start. I kinda do know what I want to say but my thoughts are all about the place so excuse me for this messy post.

The past few weeks, especially the past few days really broaden my perspective of many issues & it really got me thinking ALOT. I won't be sharing all of them because its too much but I'll just point out a few here & there.

1. ORGANIZING A CAMP

Yes, I've organised camps before from scratch. Played many different roles too, from a participant in camp to Station Masters & Planning Commm. But the recent camp gave me so many insights which were learning experiences, insights for self-reflection, insights on so many thoughts.

I didn't know it would be this taxing, guess I underestimated Poly camps. They are indeed on a larger scale. 

To an extend, it was a challenge because I was working with people that I've never worked before. In sec school, everyone knew each other so darn well so it was easy but for this camp, I dare say I only knew zero people. I know their names but that's practically it. But through the camp, I really got to know them even better.

2. PERSPECTIVES

Because of this camp, I had to put myself in different pairs of shoes to gain different views & find ways to handle situations. It was very conflicting for me because I was torn in between many many roles. But then again, I thought it was good for me because it was a personal challenge. There were times when I was able to feel/think from opposing roles but then again, what would the next best solution be?

3. THANKFUL FOR YTSC TEACHERS

It just so happen that while I was reflecting on the entire camp, it hit me so hard knowing whatever I used to think wasn't necessary was so important for the future. I was really thankful for Ms Wong, Mr Wo, Mr Tay for always picking on our lil details. It was so evident how important all these were. Basic things which I thought everyone would be particular, cleaning up after oneself.

I mean, its something we have to keep in mind right? Like in SC Camps, even without being told, everyone knows that there should be no grain of rice around & the area should be spotless. To me, these are all basics which all leaders should acquire, so in the first place things like that shouldn't happen. But I was shocked when I was told that we should have told them earlier & yada yada yada.

So it hit me that, I really am glad for whatever SC has taught & place upon me. #thankful


The rest of my thoughts are all over the place so I shall not mess your minds up by those.

xx.