Blue

 Currently doing my assignment & I'm procrastinating really badly. 5 mins typing, another 5 surfing through the net & the next 5 mins going through Insta. Sigh, this is so so bad. :( I'm sucha lazy pazzy sometimes.

I guess its just one of those nights, those nights you haunt me & leave me feeling so blue. In fact, this has been occurring for the past few days and it leaves me feeling so sore and restless.

Attempting to finish at least half of it tonight. Serves myself right for starting it late & wasting the past few nights on my HK Dramas. At least I have the whole study room to myself with Westlife accompanying me, you can never go wrong with Westlife. Their songs literally speak your heart & its amazeballs.

Really? Does it not? My mind is so preoccupied by the whole thing and I'm literally visualizing so many things, replaying scenes & the whole thing goes on and on like a broken recorder. Hehs, its kinda amazing how Tumblr helps express bits & pieces of stuff running around my head. Sigh sigh sigh

I'm not upset, not sad but for now, this very moment, Happy isn't exactly the word I would use to describe how I'm feeling right now either. Its somewhere in between. I'm feeling very blue, that's the only thing I'm very certain about. I'm a lil broken inside, a lil hurt, where things I've pushed to the back of my head are coming to the front, dominating my entire mind.

And I know that I'm taking way way too long to figure things out. What if I can't figure it out or take even longer than I already have to do so? No, let me rephrase that: What if I cannot make the decision or take even longer than I already have to make one? I know the options, I know the choice(s), all that's left is for me to make it & really do it. Action speaks so much louder than words & I've always failed to reach the "Action" stage. To be honest, I can't bear to make the decision. I clearly know what to do but I can't bear to do so. You can say its a habit, maybe due to love, or even the attachment, anything ; I can't do it.

Dying to write many posts of different things but its time to head back to my essay. If only the essay was as easy as blogging this post, how great would that be?

XX. - Need to step out of this.