Forgive/Forget

People say "forgive and forget" but how often do we really forgive, forget and let go of the grudge?

Everytime I sit down and reflect on something, and I have the feels to do a verbal diarrhoea of my thoughts, wonderings, and words in my head; I pause and click the 'x'. 

Why? 

The thought of having my personal, private thoughts out here on such a public space, scares me. As much I want to have my thoughts translated to words out loud, the idea of having other passerby and maybe "unnecessary people" reading and knowing my own thoughts is really daunting. 

People's judgements, or worst, they twist your own words against you - nasty.

But here I am, trying to give it another shot (less transparent, slightly more ambiguous). So, let's go. Topic: Forgive & Forget.

Many a times, when we get hurt intentionally/unintentionally by others, do we truly forgive and forget? I used to think that I'm a pretty forgiving person, actually I think that I still am. But I do not forget. Kinda like "once bitten, twice shy". So if I were to forgive and not forget, does that mean that I have not truly forgiven? Food for thought.

For me, I know it sticks in me, just like a splinter in your finger after getting hurt by another, whether his/her intentions were genuine or not. Okay wait no, its with the exception of certain individuals whom I can really forgive and forget - my best friends & Kai and family (occasionally, depends on the kind of hurt). But disclaimer!! I have a really good memory so sometimes, these negative episodes stay in my mind for a really long time. Its not that I haven't forgive but I cannot seem to erase them.

I've had an incident where a friend shared something about me and I was taken aback by his comment.  I leaned towards upset because I couldn't comprehend why was it so. Thereafter, we talked and he shared his explanations for it. While I understood, I still felt that the words used to describe the comment wasn't the most apt. The choice of word had a negative connotation to me but I guess, it didn't strike him in that way (I think). While I had internally, forgiven my friend, I still couldn't shake the incident off. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't bothered by it anymore, really wasn't. But I just couldn't forget it. Odd huh.

Alright, enough word diarrhoea for the night! Gonna hit the sack early because Kai & I are bringing my nephews out for a day trip to ..... jeng jeng jeng S E N T O S A!! Can't wait!

xx.