EMOTIONS SO RAW

Boy were they right when they said that emotions are exceptionally raw at night. It's been awhile since I've posted such entries relating to these raw emotions. Haha the last time I've done so was before I got together with Kai & all my emo nemo entries were all about him.

Right now, seizing the moment while I'm still feeling the strong emotions, I'm gonna just let them out.

I miss Kai, a whole lot :( It's crazy how much you can miss another being. Right now, missing Kai potentially seems more than how much I love it. Whilst loving someone may cause you to feel different types of emotions with different depths, I think missing someone comes in a huge punch to your guts.

It doesn't feel good to miss someone, its somewhere close to having a heartbreak. You crave for nothing else but his/her presence. How you wish they'd just appear infront of you and embrace you in their arms. I feel like that right now.

I've not been talking to Kai as much this week because he's studying for his MSTs as I've mentioned in my other entries (I'm not entirely sure but I do remember posting it somewhere). One thing I'm really glad is that Kai takes full responsibility of his studies and really goes all out during exam periods without me having to worry hahaha. But of course, when he really drowns himself with studying, that means lesser time with him.

Nope, not complaining (though I do to him) but seeing him put in so much effort in studying makes me feel at ease because I know that he's a responsible fella & that really reflects alot about him as a whole.

These two days, we text really little. So little to the extend it feels as though we're living in two different countries with different time zones. Hahaha it's true. Cause he studied overnight at the airport and slept nearly half the day away. When he got up, he went over to his uncle's for dinner then spending time with his family. So, I didn't have much text time with him much less talk time.

I'm not exactly an independent girl, very dependent on Kai actually. I crave his presence more than anything else. I only push myself to be independent when circumstances calls for it. I struggle at the start where I have to adapt to it but hopefully, somehow along the way I just get through the days more easily. Knowing that I'll get to see Kai at the end of the period makes it really motivating.

Being very bluntly honest, when Kai said "Goodnight" to me, I had heart squeezes. 

(Heart squeezes are terms I came up with to describe that sour-ish squeeze the heart. It's just uncomfortable & the only remedy for me is to be in Kai's arms). It's been so long since I missed Kai this badly, so much so it hurt a lil. I've no idea why I'm exceptionally feeling so much about it when there was a period I didn't get to meet Kai for nearly two weeks.

I just miss my boyfriend. One of the common girl issues that most girls face HAHAHA.

Emotions so raw & I'm feeling so much right now. I'm in touch with every lil connection my heart has right now. Heaved a sigh of relief and I'm feeling better now.

Hehe just arranged a lil surprise for Kai in the morning!! Can't wait though I can't see it personally but I know he's gonna love it. 

Hint: The only way to a man's heart is his stomach (; 

HEHE

It's 2AM & I need sleep!!

XX.