Fear.

Every single day, I thank God for letting me meet you, then placing you in my life & lastly, being sucha huge part of me. I really can't thank Him more than enough for doing so, you're one of my biggest blessing.

You're pretty much everything I wanted my future boyf to have, the dream guy that I always have dreamt of. I can't put to words how amazing you are, every single thing you do makes me fall in love all over again, every single day. No kidding about that, I fall in love with the boy every single day. I don't know how it happens but it just does.

Friday night, I remember having this conversation with him about the whole process of falling in love. Its really indescribable the whole process of falling in love because it happens: anywhere, anytime, to any one, at any moment. 

There's no pre-warning signal, no clues, hints or whatever, it just happens.

I'm super thankful that my boyf is also my bestf. In fact, he's my first guy bestf I ever had. I love it how we can talk about anything & everything under the sun & thank you for always granting my request of walking down the street instead of busing or even just sitting at the bus stop with me to talk.

Whenever you're around, I feel safe & calm. Like I know nothing will happen to me because you're there. I love the sound of your voice because it soothes me when I feel scared or panicky (that's the reason why I just called you) heehees. You're one of my major pillar of strength & I cannot thank you more for being so understanding towards my busy schedule :(

But because of all these that I'm afraid too. Because now I'm so used to your love & everything that if you just leave, I'll be extremely vulnerable. Because I'm so used to having you around that if you leave, I'm just so terrified even at the thought of it. But your text just now, made me feel so secured & a gut feeling inside knows that its different this time round. We're gonna make it (;

Just made my schedule for the whole of July & to be really frank, I'm very very stress & afraid of whatever that is coming my way. Its pretty much insane & there's this fear within me. Just scared I won't be able to manage my time well & such.

 Kinda emotional right now because of my assignments. Hope that I'm strong enough to make it till the end of July & survive this insane period. I don't know what's my war plan for this but all I know is that I'm gonna try my very best.

I love you with every single ounce of my being & every cell in my body. XX