CAGED

Not exactly having one of the best nights ever since the New Year has started but I guess it's erupting because I've been keeping it all in. This post might not make sense because I just needed to let steam out of my system since it's been inside for quite awhile.

Caged, I feel so caged. Does that even make sense? Sometimes, I feel like a stranger in my native land. I feel comfort physically but not emotionally. I love the whole idea of being home and spending quality time, I really do. In fact, I rather stay home then head out sometimes. But with all that's been going on, even the thought of staying home kinda irks me. Because it's like going home to negativity. When shit that has nothing to do with me ends up being my problem, now that's not cool.

Sometimes, it's tough. After being part of this cycle, I guess everyone in the family thinks it's normal to live this way, to have this sort of relationship with each other but guess what, ITS NOT FINE AT ALL. Maybe after so long, they're all accustomed to living this way but I don't see why we should continue this sort of family-ship. It's tiring sometimes, to be the only one wanting to make the change, to make a difference. One against four, even the numbers shows who's on the losing end.

Sometimes, the thought of quitting lingers in my head and I go all "Argh, fine let's just live this way then since you all are so contented with it" but there's something tugging at me, telling that it ain't right. So tell me, how now brown cow?

XX.