I'm always constantly wishing that I could've been an avid blogger consistently updating about my daily events (major or minor ones) instead of inconsistently blogging. I also tend to miss out of events that I would like to note down as well. But on the other hand, I kinda think that I'm a boring typer/blogger (whatever term deem appropriate). There's this key element missing from my entries I guess? Hahaha unless you're someone who knows me personally then it might interest you. But I really hope that I'm not a boring person. (In reality, I'm really not boring, I'm really really l o u d )
Okay, I'll try to be more consistent & it wouldn't be empty promises this time (I hope/cross fingers).
Why this entry is titled "Past love" is because (nope, not talking bout any past lovers) I received a whatsapp notification on Friday mornz, it was my tkd groupchat. That chatgroup has been dead since May? And it was my coach telling us that he'll be resuming our Sunday training tomorrow. Okay, technically later on.
And when I received it, the first thought that came to my mind was "Woah, really meh?" Why so? Because before our "trainings are gone, officially none" period, our trainings were not as consistent & regular as it used to be years ago. It would be cancelled at the very last minute, or our coach stood us up (informing us training is over when we waited for 30 mins).
Reading till here, I bet you think that my coach is a very irresponsible fella. No doubt there were times I was rather pissed but I knew it was beyond his control because his job required him to work on Sundays too and he recently became a dad then.
So, inconsistency = passion dying
And to be honest, it really caused the flame within me to die down. Trainings became so inconsistent that we'd only train once a month instead of the usual four times a month. Our team's attendance gradually decrease; the team spirit & morale died down too.
I wasn't as enthusiastic for trainings anymore. In fact, every Sunday I would have a little betting sess with myself, if training would be cancelled or not.
Sunday trainings weren't always like that, neither was my attitude & passion for the sport itself.
Sunday training was seen as a "special" training only for elite members. You had to be spotted by our coach to come down for this special training where trainings were nothing like the usual Friday classes so lax but instead it was three hours of tough, intensive training from 6-9pm. Be it rain or shine, training would resume as per normal.
We started by doing the usual warm-ups & then had to run two rounds around the neighbourhood, followed by climbing up & down the stairs thrice. From the 1st floor to the 12th floor. Climbing, duck-walk & lastly, frog jump. It was insane.
Then the next hour, we did loads of kicks. 50 times on the left, 50 times on the right. We had to do 15 odd sets of the different kicks. I entered when I was a brown belt & I was scared out of my wits, intimidated by all the seniors there. (I was one of the youngest actually). All of them were seasoned players, agile and swift. While I on the other hand, couldn't even execute the basic kicks.
We'd always end training either with sparring sess (hated it but now, I love it) or "Finale" - an ultimate combination of kicks to be done under a short time. It was a total of 100 plus kicks - tell me how cray is that.
I would always sit at the back & avoid eye-contact with my coach at all cost but obviously he knew & would still call me out. In the start, I was a punching bag. Absorbing kicks delivered to me because I didn't know the technique of it & I didn't have the guts to fight back. Also, I had to spar with the seniors who were already poom belts or black belts with experience.
I had no idea why I was selected from the class. I dreaded Sundays ever since then. Came up with the weirdest reasons to skip training, crying whilst on the way to training etc. I basically hated it. I wasn't talented in the sport, neither was I outstanding.
And my parents really forced me to go. They also came up with threats and reasons to counter my weird excuses. It was a living hell for me.
After six months of torture and dragging me to training, I guess I got used to it. I was accustom to the training & I started gaining confidence in myself. Esp when my coach mentioned my name during our debrief sess before we end class. It was an honour to be mentioned, really. And I made friends in class too, which made training more enjoyable.
Then came tournaments. I won my first few medals then. That gave me alot of confidence in myself & that created my passion for Tkd. Also, that was when I made many many friends outside my club. Some who've created an impact in my early sec school life, encouraging me tons. They'd come to me or text me good luck etc before matches & check up on me after matches.
After that, I slowly fell for the sport. I also got promoted to my poom belt which made me a senior in class & in training. I looked forward to Sundays & though they were physically exhausting and they caused all of my sprained ankle incidents, I still loved it.
I got so serious in the sport that I bought all the needed equipment & training gear (super expensive stuff), skipped family gatherings for training (unless they were the really really important ones) & I gave my 300% into every training, wanting to improve each time. I was very committed to the sport. We trained really hard as a team, had very good chemistry & we had one goal in mind: to be overall champs during Nationals.
We went for quite a few friendlies, we even had one in Malaysia. We were one of the big names mentioned during tournaments & we felt proud of our team. We had full team support, even the parents were very supportive. Came down for all our matches, catered food, they became our cheer squad etc.
That period was also my fittest period. Great stamina & tons of work out.
Reminiscing about the past, I really do miss the good old times. They were gold.
But all that glory and love for the sport started wearing off, when we all started to grow up. We had to deal with school, academics & other more important commitments. I was banned from training because I spent too much time on it. One by one, the seniors had work commitments, the younger ones grew up and had our own commitments. My coach, got married & started a family.
Our team began to shrunk. But the team spirit and morale stayed. We (the usuals) continued training and training. We were a family. Our parents were close, we were close, everyone was close. We had many gatherings and celebrations - our birthday culture of throwing eggs and flour at the poor birthday boy/girl.
But again, we grew up. And eventually had to prioritize the more important commitments over training. My coach also had to weigh his priorities too, esp when his new baby came along.
Taekwondo was is my past love because I put my entire heart into the sport, as well as time and effort. The usual elements needed in a r/ship. One way or another, it taught me aplenty, it got me to know good friends, it pushed me beyond my limits and I experienced what it was like to fully have passion in a sport. I was in love with it. We had our ups and downs, it motivated me to get through the week, I was recognized for my hardwork & I loved it.
It is my past love because the glorious days are over & even if I went back for training, it wouldn't be the same. I doubt that training would be consistent, I doubt that I'd give my all for it though I'd love to be part of a sport and be committed to it.
It was great while it lasted & the memories will always linger. Maybe I might swing by for training one of the weeks, if it does last till then.
XX.
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