Fenced up.

its the beginning of July and its been a rough start.

Funny how an innocent conversation turned into a war.

 

" See you in August." That's what he said.

Instantly, I was torn apart not knowing whether to feel sad or mad. Guess i wasn't in the position to say anything. And i could've just simply let it off and let it be. Fine, if its a month you want, its a month you get. Simple as that. Maybe you thought i went to bed but i was up till 2 in the morning, trying to figure it all out. Thank you Halim for making me laugh the minute i called and drying away my tears. (: you'll never understand how long it took to heal the wound and how hard it took me to try to move on. But you reopened it. I realised how fragile & vulnerable my heart was. All i wanna do is isolate myself & build a wall round my lil heart.

its the risk that you're taking each time you open up your heart, not knowing whether it'll be broken or not. Heartbreaks aren't like the wounds you get when you scraped your knees when you were a lil kid. It hurts so fucking bad it feels like as though your heart's tearing into lil tiny pieces bit by bit & all you wanna do is curl up into a ball, away from the world and just let it all out. A heartache isn't easy to nurse because you'll be reminded of the little things you guys did together, the memories shared, the places you've been to. It takes time.

I'm certain i looked fine yesterday and today. Yesterday i was trying my best to be happy but inside was just anger and disappointment. I didn't know what to do except pushed it to the back of my head and occupy myself. In fact, I was actually fine. The air was easier to breathe. I just didn't wanna bother about anything because I was too tired to really care. I was sick of it and i wanted to do nothing with it. Just with me, myself & i.

Today was great, no worries, nothing at all. Till I found out what you did. You have no clue how fucking disappointed I was, period. So what more can I now say? screw you.

 

I just want to be a happy girl, is that too much to ask?

How do I not worry when you're doing shit like this, is that what you want for me to not give a shit about you. I'm just too tired, period.

 

Was suppose to study @ Warren with Phoebe but she was too tired after staying up to complete the essay so I had the whole afternoon to myself. Some time alone (: Did some baking to cheer myself up and i whipped up some nasty maringues. Oh god were they good! Gonna make use of the time to take a good long shower, read my book and withdraw myself from everything around me.

I wanna do that right now, let my feet danggle in the air, the wind run through my hair & feel the warmth of the sun. God i wanna do that now :(

5 Routines I need to do everyday:

1. Take a nice warm/cold bath depending on the weather

2. Reply my texts

3. Use my lappy

4. Prepare my outfit for the day

5. treat myself to a cube of dark chocolate

5 Things I like to eat:

1. Sushi

2. Steak

3. Desserts

4. Salads

5. Fries

5 Rules I apply before I buy clothes:

1. Does it fit my frame?
2. Is it too loose or baggy?
3. What can i match it with?
4. Is it comfortable?
5. Is it worth buying?

5 Fave songs (all time):

Cold as Stone by Lady Antebellum
Just fine by G Love
All About Us by He is We
Keep you with me by Hot Chelle Rae
Kids in Love by Mayday Parade

5 Fave style icons :

1. Miley Cyrus.
2. Vanessa Hudgens. 3. The Olsen Twins.

4. Kendall Jenner
5. Blake Lively

5 Fave Hangouts:

 

1. 363 training ground

2. Town

3. Playground behind my house

4. Warren

5. Beach

5 Things I live by:

1. Treat others how you want to be treated.

2. Life's short, life's a bitch but you only live once so go for it.

3. There's a reason for everything.

4. The truth hurts but a lie's worse.

5. Have faith.

5 Places I wanna go:

1. London.

2. Bora Bora.

3. Los Angeles.

4. Mount Dives.

5. Europe.

5 Things I'm aiming to do:

1. Be successful in life.

2. Acing in my poly life. 

3. Be a better daughter.

4. To not make the same mistakes.

5. Make life worth living for.

5 Things my dream house should have:

1. Private pool and hot tub.

2. Walk-in closets.

3. A bar.

4. A game room.

5. Huge ass kitchen for me to experiment new recipes.