I NEED THEM POSITIVE VIBES

// Now listening: Stay With Me, Sam Smith //

A rather productive night & eventful day! Met up with Daniele this noon for lunch & adventure @ IKEA! IKEA has got to be a place I fall in love with each time I visit it, I wouldn't mind being locked inside it for an entire day hehe.

Meet-ups with Daniele is never boring but instead, he always opens a brand new perspective of life and other deep stuff & not forgetting other random shit we talk about! Hahaha I started asking him about jobs he wouldn't mind taking up for a day then as we started exploring IKEA, we asked about furniture, room design, choices etc. I know what I'm gonna buy the next time round I visit that place.

As we ended our adventure, I felt really tired (must be the lack of sleep I'm having) & decided to head home while he went to town. Just nice, Kai was otw back from school so I asked if he could wait for me & we could train back together hehs. 

The past few days, I've been meeting him for only an hour a day & it feels so weird :( despite meeting for an hour, it feels like I've not met him for daysssss. Our busy period is here (2 presentations & 2 submissions due next week) & I'm already doing a terrible job at coping with the transition and adaptation. 

For me, despite my busy schedule I somehow managed to either squeeze in time to meet him or fore-go certain activities to meet him so though we (or rather I) always grumble and complain bout not being able to meet, we somehow do with impromptu dinnz or things like that. But now that Kai is equally as busy, meeting once a week would seem like a privilege already. If I didn't suggest to go to school on Monday or catch him in time today to train home, I wouldn't even be able to meet him at all.

Spent the past few days thinking about this whole independent thing & I've come to no conclusion on how or what to do about it. One thing for sure is that I'm gonna try my very best to adapt to it albeit how my emotions go wild and I have no control over them and that really sucks.

As much as I try to psycho myself that " it's fine", " it's just temporary", " I can do this" but my heart begs to differ. Or I would go " I'm gonna be independent & see where this leads me to. Who knows it's not that bad *super confident " but an hour later I'm blue to my bones.

Somebody, help me. I think I have independent issues. I need a solution and a stop to this nonsense. Or, this might just be the transitioning thingy? I don't know man.

SHAWN'S 21ST BIRTHDAY VISUALS

XX.